Sit, Boy!
by BambooShoots
Summary: spike gets a "subduing spell" where he must fall (face first) to the ground whenever anyone says "sit!" However, Spike won't take this lying down...


Sit, Boy!  
  
AN: This takes place in a magic point in Buffy-land where nothing is happening. Riley is gone, but for some reason nothing is happening with any big bad or anything.  
  
Disclaimer: okay, so I don't own Buffy. I thought I could get away with it. Also, the "sit" spell is from the anime "Inuyasha," which I have only seen once and mostly know about due to having a friend who is extremely obsessed with it. So, basically Inuyasha has nothing to do with this fic, and there will be no other components of Inuyasha used. Also, the boom boom boom lyrics are from a Japanese song by the band Morning Musume, called "Souda! We're alive," and the long lines of yeah, yeah and boom, boom are actually in the song, but not the sit part. I threw that in as extra. Damn, this is a long disclaimer.  
  
"Wow!" cried Willow, for the umpteenth time, staring intently at the pages of the large book in her lap. Buffy peered into the pages intently, noting the very, very small print and lack of large pictures taking up most of the page.  
  
"What is so interesting about that gigantic book, Will? I haven't seen you this excited since, well, trigonometry."  
  
"It's got some of the most interesting spells," Willow said joyously. "Like this one. It's called a subduing spell. You put a spell on an object, and put it on someone, like a necklace, and only the person who placed the spell can take it off. Then, whoever has the object on, IE the cursed one, will have to fall to the ground and have the charmed object touch the ground when the command word is said."  
  
"Really? Could you do it, on, like, Spike or something?" Buffy asked, suddenly very interested in the big book with the small print.  
  
"Probably," Willow said.  
  
"Hmmm," murmured Buffy thoughtfully. "How much power do you have to have for something like that? I mean, would you have to be all super- witch?"  
  
"That's the great part," Willow said. "This spell requires so little power. Someone with no magic experience could probably perform it."  
  
"Can I borrow that when you're done?" Buffy asked.  
  
***  
  
Spike sat tiredly on the counter at the Magic Box. Buffy had called an emergency Scooby-meeting, and insisted on his presence. As it was just after dawn, this had been difficult to achieve, but Spike could only surmise that a big-bad was coming because otherwise these measures wouldn't be taken. Buffy wouldn't normally be so intent on his attendance-she didn't really like him all that much.  
  
"Is everyone *sitting*?" Buffy asked.  
  
*THUMP!*  
  
Spike cursed loudly as his head smacked the concrete floors. Somehow, he had fallen face first off of the counter.  
  
"You okay there, dead boy?" Xander asked jovially.  
  
Spike stood up and dusted himself off.  
  
"We should sit and be comfortable until Anya, Willow and Giles get here," Buffy said. Spike flew to the floor.  
  
"Okay, what is up with that?" asked Xander. He and Buffy were snickering wildly. "Whatever it is, do it again!"  
  
"Say 'sit,' Xander," Buffy said. Spike flew back down in the middle of dragging himself to his feet.  
  
"Sit!" Xander said, rather loudly. Spike, who had again tried to get up smashed back down again. "Oh, that is rich."  
  
"Bloody hell, what is going on," roared Spike. Xander and Buffy burst out laughing.  
  
"How did you do it, Buff," Xander stammered, tears rolling down his cheeks.  
  
"Spell I got from Willow. It only works when one of us does it. ha! Ha!" She collapsed back in gales of laughter.  
  
"Hi guys," said Willow, opening the door. "What's so funny?"  
  
"We'll tell you in a minute, Will. Sit down."  
  
Spike slammed forward, having just gotten to his feet. Willow looked back and forth between the two laughing humans and the swearing vampire.  
  
"Okay, um. well, does anyone know where I left that crystal sitting the other day when I was here because-" Willow stopped as Spike flew to the floor again. "Okay, when did Spike get freakishly clumsy?"  
  
Xander and Buffy were unable to answer due to the fact that they began to laugh harder.  
  
"You might want to sit down before we tell you," screeched Buffy breathlessly. Spike's head slammed down again.  
  
"Stoppit!" he yelled. "I know what you're doing now. You put a spell on me!"  
  
"Oh, Buffy, you didn't," Willow said, already beginning to giggle. "I can just picture you, *sitting* with that book.." Spike, who had just begun to lift his head, thinking it was safe, went back down.  
  
"This is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me," Xander said, his eyes shining with joy. "I hate the world," muttered Spike.  
  
"What was that? You need a place to *sit*?" Buffy asked sweetly.  
  
"Bugger!" screeched Spike. "How do you get that out of 'I hate the world?' Honestly, woman, if you sit me one more time-" Spike was cut off by his head hitting the floor. "YOU MEAN EVEN *I* CAN'T SAY SIT??? WHAT KIND OF EVIL WOMAN ARE YOU???"  
  
"A brilliant one," Buffy said smugly. It was obvious she was very, very pleased with herself.  
  
That was when Giles walked in.  
  
"Giles! Please, sit down and be comfortable," Buffy implored. Spike, who had been safe for several seconds and thus stood back up and begun walking towards the bookshelf, fell down.  
  
"Is something wrong with Spike? Maybe you should sit down, Spike. You don't look well," Giles said.  
  
There was a mighty "whump!" as Spike hit the floor.  
  
"Maybe you should just lay there."  
  
"No, it'll be safe for him to get up now. At least until Anya gets here," said Buffy, she and Xander laughing knowingly. Willow giggled behind her hand.  
  
"Why do I get the serious feeling that I am missing something?" Asked Giles.  
  
Anya arrived several minutes later, listening to a CD player. "Listen to the great new song I just heard," Anya said enthusiastically. Spike leaned back in his chair. Good, Anya would divert them from the pain for a few more minutes.  
  
Anya began singing. "Ooooh, sit sit sit sit sit sit sit sit sit sit pump it up!"  
  
Spike screamed many, many curses as his head was pummeled up and down on the floor. "What kind of bloody horrid song is that?!"  
  
"It's Japanese," Anya said, slightly hurt. "You needn't inflict self- harm if you don't like it. Anyhow, the next part goes: Boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom pump it up!"  
  
Anya turned up her CD player and danced about.  
  
"I get it!" Cried Giles suddenly. "Spike is under a subduing spell. Oh, Buffy, you really shouldn't have." But he was, of course, laughing.  
  
"Boom, eh?" Spike said. "I'll be right back."  
  
Spike began walking towards the door to the back room. "Sit!" yelled Buffy when he was halfway there. There was a whole new bout of cursing and Spike dragged himself the rest of the way with his head on the ground.  
  
TBC.... 


End file.
